5 Things Parents Should Not Send to School With Their Child

Each day as teachers, we must:

• roll through reading, phonics, writing, grammar, math, science, computer skills, and social studies;
• make sure kids have a nutritious lunch, healthy snack, physical activity, a safe environment, and extra curricular opportunities; 
• provide instruction in good manners, getting along with others, disaster preparedness, personal safety, and citizenship;
• and act as parent, nurse, social worker, psychologist, banker, referee, mediator, and mentor. 

All this in about 7 hours a day.

So, competing with all sorts of distractions can mean not getting through all the stuff we really have to get through.

Because, well, pacing guide.

Now, some distractions are unavoidable - a thunderstorm, fire drill, lost tooth, cockroach in someone's desk...  They can even create a nice little break once in a while.

But some distractions are NOT unavoidable.  They have been created by well meaning, yet slightly uninformed parents who (possibly unknowingly) allow kids to come to school wearing or bringing things that create unnecessary distractions.

So, to ensure that we are able to take advantage of every precious second of the day, and to reduce time-sucking distractions, here are...

1.)  T-shirts containing self-fulfilling prophesies such as "My Name is TROUBLE" or "Doesn't play well with others" or "Allergic to Homework"

               You are what you wear!  Okay, maybe that's not quite how the saying goes.  But at least parents should consider shirts that say something like, "My Name is LISTENS WELL" or "Allergic to Illiteracy" or "Got Enough Sleep And Had A Healthy Breakfast."  Can't hurt.

2.)  Shoes, covered in sparkles and glitter, that produce seizure-inducing flashes of multicolored light.

             Seriously, Johnny over there is having a hard enough time focusing on me as it is without your shoes singing the 'Look at Me' siren song.  And now, apparently there are kids' shoes with BUILT IN VIDEO GAMES!  Are you kidding me?  Do they not get enough already that we have to incorporate video games into their very clothing?

3.)  Enough dangly jewelry, headbands, rings, and flashy accessories to put a Kardashian to shame.

              I'm all for kids showing their individuality, but let's rein it in a little bit, Miss Fashionista.   It's kinda hard to compete with your accessorypalooza over there.  And honestly, I don't know how you manage it to pull all that together in the morning anyway.  I'm having a good day if I get out of the house with matching shoes.

4.)  Scented perfumes, lip gloss, lotions, hair gel, and any other substance with an odor that would make a skunk gag.

           I truly admire your desire to smell nice.  Actually, after working with 4th graders after recess, I encourage the generous use of a pleasantly scented deodorant stick.  But if you walk in the room and the plants wilt, you might want to tone it down a bit.  The rest of us are fond of breathing.

5.)  Their own personal cell phone, programmed with the numbers of all their family and friends, special ringtones, and alert sounds, so when it rings in the middle of reading time, a six year old can say, "Hold on - I gotta take this..."

              'Nuff said.